Exploding Cludgie Terrorises America!

I was innocently browsing The Grauniad’s website when my eye was irresistibly drawn to a bizarre article title. Exploding toilet leads to lawsuit it thundered, going on to accuse Associated Press in Morgantown of bringing the incident to the world’s attention:

A man who says he was severely burned when a portable toilet exploded after he sat down and lit a cigarette is suing a general contractor and a coal company, accusing them of negligence.

Apparently he reckons there was a methane leak from a pipe in the general vicinity of just underneath the Throne, and it was this that very nearly turned the metaphor of “dying for a gasper” into reality.

Now, nonsmokers who suffer from colleagues who regularly light up a coffin nail during Solitary Confinement may well feel that it’s not a bad idea, although personally I feel that the ultimate deterrent should be reserved for those who scatter fag-ash all over the handbasin afterwards. However, let’s not forget that this is the US of A, where loony lawsuits abound. Methane smells, so unless the guy suffers from olfactory loss or chronic flatulence, he should surely have noticed the pong. Odd.

Further investigation reveals that the innocent victim is a methane power plant operator. Presumably the accident happened at work, since few people have portable loos and methane pipelines at home. So apparently we have a case of someone sneaking off to the bog for an illicit ciggie, despite being fully aware that methane is an inflammable gas and that he was in an area where methane abounds.

Oh dear. I suppose he’s lucky he doesn’t live in Ankh-Morpork, where the Patrician has installed the death penalty for Being Irremediably Stupid While Not Being a Troll.

Link to the article. ’S’all true.

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Go on, bother me. You know you want to.

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