I’m A Little Teapot, Short And Stout

This is the best teapot in the world in space in teh Universe as far as I am concerned. It may not be the most strikingly original, and indeed the decorations won’t mean anything outside of a select group of workshy layabouts (ha, ha no I jest). But it was made specially for me by a dear friend, and therefore I prize it above rubies.

I hope to be moving house soon. If it gets broken during the move, I cannot be held answerable for my actions. Nothing must come between me and my cup of brown joy.

For the scientifically minded, recent intense research at the University of Northumbria has come up with a formula for the Perfect Mug (PM):

(TB+(H2O at 100°C) 2mins BT)+(M*10ml) 6mins BT = PM (at OT 60°C).
Where:
TB = teabag
BT = brewing time
M = milk
OT = optimum temperature

It worries me that they have omitted the all-important step of removing the teabag before adding milk. Sloppy. For those wishing to go fully native, here are the great Douglas Adams’s instructions for making a real pot of tea (NB Earl Grey is not to everyone’s taste. You may substitute a different variety or blend).

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Go on, bother me. You know you want to.

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